Prove It

Does anybody feel like as soon as you commit something to the Lord, He says, "Ok...prove it."? (or is it just me?)

In my last post, I shared the lyrics to a song that I think is amazing. At the end of that post, I told y'all that no matter what God's Will is for my life (even if He says "No" to some of my desires), then I would still serve and love Him.
Well....let's just say...that the past few weeks have been a time of God saying, "Prove it." to me. And trust me, it hasn't been easy.

As many of you know, I do online college with Veritas Baptist College. It is a great college, especially for those who want to get an education, but still serve in their ministries at their local church (like me!). Through a series of events (I will spare you all the details ;), God laid on my heart that maybe for this semester, it wasn't His plan for me to continue with VBC. And........drumroll please.........that maybe the Lord wants me to go to Heartland Baptist Bible College in Oklahoma.

So what did I do? I stopped and I prayed for His direction in whether I should stay with Veritas or go to Heartland. Then...I started thinking about what life would be like at college. I started thinking of dorm life, the college experience, singing in the college choir, maybe joining a singing group, being a part of the ministries at the church, maybe meeting my future husband there, having an impact at the annual church planter's conference....yeah...you get the idea. I turned that idea into a hope and desire for my life. It was something that I wanted to do. I started changing my prayer of, "Lord, show me your will and which college." to "Lord, I really want to go there...please let that be Your will."
 But it seemed like I wasn't getting an answer. So I prayed and fasted some more. And then I decided to 'lay down a fleece' (like Gideon did in the Old Testament.) I told God that if it were His will for me to go to Heartland, then provide me with the cash to cover this semester's tuition. If it were His will for me to continue with Veritas, then I asked God to give me the financial aid through a grant that I had applied for.
In my heart, I thought I knew for sure that God was definitely going to send me to HBBC. But after a week or two, God provided the grant and showed me that I was to continue with Veritas.
I was definitely disappointed and I even cried as I shared the Lord's will with my parents.
 Don't get me wrong...I absolutely love VBC and the opportunity it gives me! But for several weeks, I had "dreamed" about going Heartland and I had it set in my heart that this was the Lord's will.

And then I remembered something, I remembered my last post where I told y'all that if God says, "No." to a desire in my life, I would still love and serve Him no matter what. I would still be happy with His decision. And now...it was time for me to put to practice what I had said. It was time for me to stop talking, and start living it out. And you know what? God has given me such a desire and excitement for this next semester! I look at this semester, and I see how God is going to bless me for following in His will.
The Lord also showed me, that if I had gone to Oklahoma, I would have missed many milestones that my church is going to take. I would have missed the beginning of construction on our new building. I would have missed watching my bus kid's surrender their lives to the Lord and faithfully ride that church bus. I would have missed connecting with my sister's-in-Christ at ladies conferences and Bible studies. I would have missed my nieces doing some "firsts" in their lives. And not to mention, I would have missed my family more than I could ever being to explain.
So God has showed me through this whole process, that there is no greater place than being right in the center of His will. There may be times I want something different, but in the end, I could never be happier than right where I am at. In God's perfect will.